Blogcast Episode 2

Cheers Salmon Cake! Welcome back for another episode of Comedy Bang Ray! I am your host Shock Fockerman, and here with me today is my good friend Trip Trapezio. He is a local weirdo, stand up comedian, and aspiring comedy author. You could say he is a really big fan of Harris Wittles. How you doing today Harris?… I mean Trip?–Shock

Uh, so far so good. And please refer to me as Harris. — Trip

Hah, I honestly won’t, and can’t for various legal reasons..but moving on..how has your career been going in the booming town of Portland? –Shock

Well Shock, I’ve been having a great time writing my own show on the local Portland channel 4, “Tripping out with Trip Trapezio.” Going on to our second season now. You know it’s just a fun sort of take on “The Office” or “Parks and Rec”. Except, you know, it has to do with working in our tourism sector. Nature trips are a big get away thing around here. –Trip

Is it? How much would you say that type of tourism brings in for our economy? –Shock

Well, Shock I didn’t realize you would be asking hard hitting questions today, but I would venture to say that it makes up probably 1% of Portlands economy. The other 99 being Stephen King–Trip

Haha, Trip I know you are being hyperbolic, but point taken.– Shock

No Scott, I’m not. To illustrate my point, all my work is under King inc. My show is also produced by Stephen King, and my car..made by Stephen King. This studio? You got it..Stephen King. –Trip

Well, Trip I think you are a little off the mark there. Comedy Bang Ray studios is its own privately owned company.. Let me just pull up our website…See! Privately owned and operated by Shock Fockerman, with 99% of its freely traded stocks..or as we like to call them Shocks.. held….by….Stephen E. King–Damnit!…. Editor Jake! I told you we shouldn’t have gone into the market!–Shock

*Looking smug*–Trip

*shrugs* — editor Jake

Ugh….,Trip going up on the boards as being first at Comedy Bang Ray to use an action emoji sentence on the Blogcasts!.. Jake, nobody cares about your secondary contributions. Speaking of Trip’s contributions, I think it might be time for your Napkin News!– Shock

Alright, thank you Scott. My first one..– Trip

Umm, shut the fuck up real quick Trip, first we need to tell the readers what is going on. –Shock

Woah, Jesus okay.. well my Napkin News is me reading jokes that I have written down on napkins. –Trip

And do you just do that when you are in restaurants? –Shock

Umm, well no I actually just carry a wad of napkins with me wherever I go. Sometimes it is kinda hard to get my thoughts on them when I am out walking the dog, but I don’t know if anything can beat the convenience. –Trip

Trip, you could just do it on the cellphone that you are literally holding right now. –Shock

What, this thing? No this is my calculator. –Trip

Are you serious? I just saw you receive a text on it right before we started up. –Shock

Oh no, that was just…my…my calculator and I are just good friends you know. –Trip

Are you trying to say that your calculator writes messages to you? No, you know what we are not even going down this path, it is a fucking cell phone! –Shock

Well, that’s your opinion. Anyway, can I get started?–Trip

Be my guest..–Shock
–Napkin News–

If there are Wombats…are there also Testicats?…You have to read that as womb-bats, you know? Just help me out there.–Trip

Poorly executed–Shock

If there are Testicats, then you better believe they chase after titmice. –Trip

Okay, here is another one.. If you were to mold refried beans into a bean shape, and put them in a deep fryer, would you have re-refried re-beans? –Trip

Okay.. you have more Trip…–Shock

*Studio Door Opens* — and Napkin News likely ends
Hey..what are you guys doing in here?—?

Woah! Where did you come from homeless looking gentleman?…–Shock

I’m..I’m Dean..I work down the street at the local supermarket..–Dean

Well, Dean we are doing a blogcast, here in the studio, where we have an open door policy. So, welcome!–Shock

Are you from Super Deals? I got some nachos down there before I came in–Trip

No, I am across the street from there at The Mournful Moose. –Dean

That can’t be a real name for a grocery store- Shock

Well, at the Mournful Moose we believe it is respectful to honor those in mourning. You know, there are just so many places people can go anymore when they are mourning.–Dean

Uhh…How is that working out as a business strategy? –Shock

Well, we don’t have many shoppers, and the ones we do get usually leave regretting their decision and their purchases. –Dean

So, in other words, it isn’t working.–Shock

Well, I don’t know about that. I can’t tell you how many people have come into the store and just had a good cry.–Dean

Yea, because that’s what people want to do when they go shopping *sarcasm*–Trip

Listen, we have everything anyone could be looking for. An aisle for regret, sorrow, nastalgia..but you are probably right.. we are always concerned that someone who is suffering is going to feel left out. –Dean

You sound so sad talking about your store’s possible, and likely, short comings. –Shock

Yes..my manager usually hires a companion to be with me most days. I tend to walk down the aisle of suicidal ideations a lot. –Dean

Wait! Now.. why would you have such an aisle?..And also how would your employer have the money to pay for a companion?–Trip

I know! Just thinking about it…I just.. I think I am going to go take a walk.–Dean

Stay safe!! –Trip

Dean! I hope you are not saying you are going to go walking down that suicide aisle!..–Shock

Yes…aisle 8.. my only friend..–Dean

I don’t think we should let you go.–Shock

It’s okay.. we are having a sale on our store brand of spaghetti os.. my favorite. –Dean

What, no clever name?- Trip

They are “spaghetti ohhhs”.. like when you see something that reminds you of someone or something you have lost, and you say “ohhhhh”. –Dean

Haha, doesn’t work quite as well on a blogcast platform.–Shock

Shh, Shock. Are you trying to make him sadder?!–Trip

Wait where did Dean just go?!– Shock

I think he let himself out. –editor Jake

*runs out of studio* –Shock

*brings back dean* Shock

Dean, I know what will cheer you up. Let’s play a little game.. something I like to call Would You Rather!– Shock

–to be continued in separate “WYR episode 1!”

Thank you for reading the second blogcast of comedy bang ray! If you have not done so yet, please favorite us or whatever it is you do. As usual we won’t take any of your comments into consideration–Shock

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