Would You Rather (WYR) #1

Would you rather: always drop a mic after every comment you make, or have to break down a Talking Heads set before you are able to go to bed every night?

Shock: We all know how to play this game. You ask questions when I open the floor, and based off that information you make a decision on what scenario you would rather be in. I then award points based on a correct answer. Vote, and only vote after the floor is closed.

Trip: I know what I am going for!

Shock: Do you want to lose points Trip, because you know I have to open the floor for questions and there is no voting until the floor is closed.

Trip: I mean it just seems very obvious, it’s kind of..

Shock: That’s it! You have been deducted 3 points.

Dean: Does that mean I won? I could really use this win.

Shock: Please, please just start asking questions, I am opening up the floor.

Trip: Ahhh! I am falling through the floor.

Shock: Deducted another 235 points… just awful.

Dean: Well, with the Talking Heads scenario, are we talking about The Heads in their prime with like 30 band members, or essentially David Byrne and a few rotating members?

Shock: Definitely in their prime. We are talking three to four drum sets, 25 guitars and keyboards and 10 synths. Also, the band is always hungry and they will ask you to go make a burger run after you break down their set.

Dean: I have another one. If I am breaking down their set every night, does that mean that we are constantly touring? Like I would get to travel around with them?

Shock: Great question! This is exactly how you play WYR, but the answer is no. In actuality 90% of the time you are just breaking down a set that they made right on your driveway.

Dean: That seems terribly inconvenient.

Shock: Yes, and your family is understandably very pissed about this, which leads to a lot of marital discord.

Trip: Are you good friends with the band at least?

Shock: Actually, no, you are not in any verbal contact with them, and you have to be in full veil when they hand you the list for burger orders.

Dean: Good thing I already have a veil..It’s my mourning veil.

Trip: Alright, alright, what about with the mic dropping scenario..Is every comment you make mic-drop-worthy?

Shock: No, actually in this scenario you are not witty at all and quite frankly you make insanely stupid points before dropping a mic. People kind of just think you are a dick.

Dean: What about, like, where do you get and keep all these mics that you are dropping?

Shock: Another great question. You actually have a lot of different skin pouches all over your body that hold all of the mics, but unfortunately you have to buy all the mics that you need to drop.

Dean: So I can’t just pick them back up and reuse them after one drop?

Shock: No, because they actually explode once you drop them.

Trip: Wait this seems like this is getting pretty dangerous…

Shock: Very much so. You are actually a fugitive from the law because of it and wanted as a terrorist.

Dean: Both of these scenarios sound pretty awful now.

Shock: Well keep in mind you have to choose one and I am about to close the floor.

Trip: Going back to the Talking Heads one. Do you get paid?

Shock: Trip, I am so glad you asked that because, yes, of course you do. You actually are making six figures an hour.

Trip: That’s almost worth the major inconvenience of getting a for sure divorce, never sleeping or seeing the children.. hey wait couldn’t I just hire people to do the job with that much money?

Shock: Good last minute question, and the answer is you still couldn’t afford to pay for help because in this reality the cost of living is 1 million times higher so you are actually living way below the poverty line…and with that I am closing the floor for questions. Please choose wisely. Trip, let’s start with you..

Trip: I am going to go with the mics deal.

Shock: and why is that?

Trip: Well, I think it would be nice to be well know, even if it’s infamy. Also, I like blowing shit up.

Shock: Haha, okay Dean how about you?

Dean: I am actually going with the Talking Heads. I mean, like I said, I already have the veil, and even with cost of living inflation, I would still be making more money for doing more meaningful work.

Shock: Really..? I mean..

Dean: Oh yes, I actually only get paid in store brand cat food as is.

Shock: hahah, that is so sad. But, that is actually the correct answerrrr! You won it all! Congratulations Dean!! Thats one point to Trip’s negative 238 points. That’s also all the time we have for today, thank you so much for reading, and be on the look out for our next episode to drop.

Dean: I think this might be the happiest I have ever been. Yes, I know it is because I think I have, what the kids refer to as, a semi! Thank you Mr. Fockerman for having me on.

Shock: You are most welcome, and especially for that semi! We hope to see you again.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s